The instinct to strike back when you have been betrayed or badly wronged is very powerful. The allure of a divorce attorney who says that he or she can and will exact revenge, in the form of financial losses or other suffering that can be accomplished through divorce litigation, can be tempting. But revenge is temporal and relief is often not as satisfying as imagined…often those with a revenge mindset are willing to Acut off their nose to spite their face,@ setting the stage for pain and suffering to continue for both sides indefinitely into the future.
Before you seize an opportunity to take revenge, ask yourself how much have you already lost to this conflict? Too much money, too much time, loss of productivity at home and work, physical problems caused by or related to chronic stress, emotional suffering related to anger, grief and fear, loss of the spirit and energy that heals and moves life forward. How much longer are you willing to pay the ever increasing price of harboring the underlying conflict?
It may be more productive to give up the futile hope of a better past and empower yourself and your future by choosing a Collaborative Divorce. In Collaborative Divorce, there is a recognition that considering the needs and interests of both parties, even those of a party who has acted badly, is in the enlightened self-interest of both parties. In Collaborative Divorce, there is a focus on future recovery, not on perpetuating future suffering, setting the stage for securing emotional and financial health for both parties.
